Winter came unexpectedly. We almost forgot what it was like. There was practically no snow. Only occasionally, blizzards and only in fragments, because recent years were mostly warm, almost autumn weather. But this time it was different. Winter broke into our everyday reality, abruptly, without warning, shackling the cold of, streets, roads, houses and residents. The snow fell from the sky with big flaks, they did not disappear, did not melt, and obediently congregate on heaps, forming something like mountain ridges in miniature sizes. It was interesting to watch on it, because the snow was falling during the day and at night. It's true that not everyone liked it. And only children were happy about such changes. They were making snowballs. And with pleasure, climbing higher, on the roofs of garages, threw them in the urban transport and passers-by. And in the distance one could hear laughter and cheerful screams from the running crowd of children. 

It was as if everything was back to normal. A new turn. Trite and simple things that we forget so quickly.

I've never been behave like a gambling man, only in sports. But now I had a slot machine in front of me, and my pocket was full of tokens. I was the only one who managed the process and nobody could stop me. I knew exactly what to do, how to do it and I had experience.

It's like a real life, you play, you throw chip. Next, the ball is jump. The important thing is that it doesn't fall. Hold on as long as you can, or you'll have to add a token again.

But the game drags you out, time flies by fast, you like it, don't want to stop. However, sooner or later the game will end, you'll go happy, on other business, leaving part of yourself in the game room.

This is going to sound completely not like new. But anyway, we all live in a three-dimensional world. The fact is, that's how we all see and feel this way. Our affections, our fears, our actions, truth and lies, it seems to me like a maze of sorts. Some people are happy with it, others are not. There are those who are trying to get out of this labyrinth after all. The goal, I think, is quite reasonable and simple. To feel real, without unnecessary emotions, worries, promises, action. To finally begin to rule your own world.

It's not easy to do. There will always be people who are against it, as well as circumstances that prevent you from achieving your dreams. But what do we do when we find ourselves in a maze? We memorize every step, learn from mistakes, try different options, although in the beginning we always go blind. And only when we get out of the maze, we look back and we see all differently. It was not so hard. I did it because I deserved.

In one way or another, we're all players. That's how today's society works. Some people play fair and some don't. It depends on education, general moral principles. The goal is one and that's victory. But I think the real player will act according to the rules, making the opponent realize that the game is over and he lost. It doesn't matter if you play white or black. There are two options, what belonged to you will be mine, or I will make it so that you can not make your next move. I'll just lock you out.

Through a planetary prism we think, feel the reality, see the world around us and transfer these feelings to a world that is not visible to us, not accessible. It is an undeniable fact. To move away from the usual worldview, to accept other hypotheses, to study them in more detail, means one thing, this is a way out of the bounds of typicality, unidirectionality, to expand our own horizons, acceptance of current processes and how it could be in another world, which we are still try to learn. 

Feelings are mixed up, truth is born in disputes, the course of time changes, and what was normal here will not apply to what will be there and vice versa. Accordingly and we will become different. Use someone else's prism does not mean that we have to move away from the usual understanding of things, it is only an additional way and opportunity to increase knowledge, to enrich experience and look at the old in a new way.

I'm still lone. The situation is repeating itself. No support. Everyone's against me. Is that what I think it is? Or is it for real? No one understands. I mean, it's everyone for themselves. 

You're a toy in other people's hands. Accept it. You have no choice. Create your own colorful inner world and forget about the rest, everything will be decided for you. Your opinion doesn't matter, you're absent, you don't exist. Resistance will lead to nothing.

It's another birthday. 40 years old. I'm sitting in the kitchen, alone with myself. The phone is silent.

Let it be. 

These are my colors, rhythms, melodies, words. It's like I'm back on track again, it's nothing. I'll create from the void, from a white sheet, a space for myself, fill it with meaning, and then?

And then the situation repeats itself again.

No support.

Accept it.

You don't exist.

I'm sitting in the kitchen.

Created space using the void.

I like that.

It's a majestic and impressive cult structure as if woven from Buddhist symbols and signs. The symbol of the Universe in miniature, which includes all four elements: earth, water, fire and air. It is decorated with colorful flags, on each of which mantras and scriptures are written. 13 steps to achieving nirvana. In the center of the sanctuary is the Buddha. It is a sanctuary for monks and pilgrims, a place of ascension of prayers and rest.

There are many views that I may disagree with, and I have the will to choose. I may or may not accept the idea. But I think there are people who are born for certain currents and directions. And it's only a matter of time before they realize it.

This is my rethinking "Still life with apples". Instead of a metal can, I decided to add a several transparent plates, not one as in the original. The apples are chaotically scattered on a tablecloth that the viewer looks down on. The general rhythm sets the movement, some apples roll and fall from the table, some stopped. I also split the table into two parts, the first part farther away, the second part closer. It's just two angles, different looks. We look from a distance, and we get closer. What I was most interested in was color. The compositional component came out by itself.

For me it's summer, fresh harvest, the taste of something sweet, rain, warmth and comfort at home during a storm, calmness and a reminder that nothing stands still. The process is cyclical. What we see before us today, we can see in a year. It's something that exists but is absent at the same time, an instant.

By not sure steps, I still decided to take a new path. Everything, the people who surrounded me at that moment, the circumstances, the hints from above, contributed to it. Someone was watching me closely. All I had to do was ask myself how the answer come about almost immediately. Naturally, it all seemed very strange to me. Taking into account the difficulties I had been through. But that's what made me happy. Someone decided to put me in the right direction. It wasn't until years later that I realized who it was.

One step, the other, there was no turning back. More and more, the answers, its became clearer and more concise, there was no ambiguity in them. And I was like a ship, with wind-filled sails, moving on the waves of new life, in the ocean of being.

As you get older, you realize a lot of things you didn't understand before in your youth. The reaction to external stimuli is dulled, experience, analytical thinking and the ability to resist the negative of this world is gained. You come to understand that people tend to help each other and support each other to a greater extent than hinder and be aggressive. The society in which we live, politics, a lot of other different factors make us such people. In general, we are all the same in our aspirations, dreams, goals, but envy, hatred, desire to kill these acquired characteristics. The path is the same, but unfortunately the methods achieve the tasks can be different. In fact, we want to live in peace, develop, be friends, to love and feel the happiness.

This project is, to some extent, a retrospective of my life, creative path,

awareness of place in art and design.

Today I'm the host on own radio station.

Welcome to this inner world.