Organization For Busy Moms
Organization is a skill that not everyone has. Organization makes our lives easier and helps us to reach our goals. But not everyone learns the skills they need to get and stay organized. Here are some tips on how to get organized and stay organized.
First – you want to sort through everything and separate it into three piles – Keep, Throw out, and Donate. This can work for many different types of items – papers, clothes, dishes, anything in your life. And when deciding what to throw away, be firm with yourself. Do you really need it? Have you used it or worn it in the last year? If not, it needs to go. As for the donation pile – also be firm with you. Once you have your donation pile make sure to load it into your vehicle, or call the collection site to come get it. Don’t allow these items to migrate back into the mix.
Second – now that you have your items that you are keeping, gotten rid of what you can, and have donated what you can it’s time to move onto the next step - find a home for everything. Each person has to decide for themselves what will work for them. Do you want to organize your clothes by season or color? Do you want your books and movies sorted by favorites or by title? Make sure that everything has a home. Make some type of filing system for your important papers – be it in a filing cabinet, or a folder. Whatever works for you.
Lastly – and most importantly – keep up with it. It takes a lot of determination and self-control. However, if you put things in the right place right away, it is not a difficult task. You will find that when you are looking for something, it will be where it belongs. Being organized will save you time, energy, and stress. All the hard work will pay off in the end.
Romance After Children
There was a time in many of our lives when things like sleeping in, going out when we wanted, and going to bed when we wanted was something we took for granted. But, if you have kids, you soon realize that this all goes out the window. Suddenly your life is no longer you own. Instead, you are being forced to keep someone else’s schedule. From the beginning with midnight feedings, regular meal times, to then school hours, soccer games, doctor’s appointments, and bed times. If you think back to the days before you had children, you and your partner could go out for a romantic dinner, a stroll on the beach, a movie, all without planning ahead. More than that, suddenly, curling up on the couch together often times gets interrupted by a little body snuggled in between, or a nightmare that needs soothed. It seems like suddenly, instead of cuddling with each other, you find yourself cuddling with a little child more often.
There are other issues that seem to suck the romance out of your relationship as well. Things such as stress, tiredness, bills, work, housework, all add together to take what once may have been a close, intimate relationship and turn it into something that is squeezed into the schedule. You may also start to feel guilty for not feeling romantic very often. But be honest with yourself – with all the demands put on Moms these days, being romantic can start to feel like it’s a chore. Something to add to your “to do” list. But, fear not, having children is not the end to your romantic life. It just takes a little more effort and coordination. But it can be achieved.
The first step in keeping romance alive in your relationship is to be kind to yourself. Now, that may seem like a step in the wrong direction – how does being kind to yourself equal to showing your partner you love them? How can you even start to feel romantic if you are stressed, tired, and feeling unattractive. So doing little things for yourself, like giving yourself a manicure or a pedicure, a long hot soak in the tub, doing your hair, shaving your legs, all equal to you feeling better and attractive. When you feel happier and more attractive, you are more likely to share that feeling with your partner.
Next, don’t wait for a special occasion to show your partner that you care. It doesn’t take much to show affection – a quick squeeze of the hand as you pass, a hug in the morning, a peck on the cheek goodbye in the morning. All of this helps remind each other that you care. Surprising your partner with a rose for no reason at all, a hand written note on the bathroom mirror left for them, a text in the middle of the day saying you love them, or cooking them their favorite meal all are ways to show you care.
Spontaneity may be harder now that you have children. But just because you can’t go at the spur of the moment doesn’t mean that it can’t be fun. Having a date night that is set in stone may not be spontaneous, but it can still be great. It is also important. Make sure that you plan events that are for just you and your partner. Whether you go out, or stay home, make that time for each other. Send the kids to Grandma’s for the night, or get a babysitter to come stay for the evening. If those can be fit into the budget or are not possible – at least set one evening aside where you put the kids to bed and dedicate your attention to each other. No computers, no texts, no phone calls, the focus is on each other. Find something you both enjoy, like watching a movie, playing a game, reading out loud to each other, whatever it is you both enjoy. One of the most important pieces of this is to focus on each other. Do your very best to leave the world outside for that time. It may be hard to forget the pressures of life even for a short time. But, remember, those bills will still be there, your job will still be there, your problems will still be there. But, for now, the focus needs to be on each other. You need to be a support system for each other, and one of the best ways you can do that is by staying connected to each other romantically.
Lastly, sex can become a real issue once you have children. There are so many things that may get in the way of your sex life once you have children. Some people have children who get up frequently during the night. Some people have children that sleep in the same bed with you. Some people work different shifts. Add in all the other factors mentioned before- stress, tired, schedule, and so on, and sex may seem like a distant memory. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Sex can be a great stress reliever and a great way to reconnect with your partner. Like date night, setting a night aside for making love works for many couples. It is important if you do that you not let anything get in the way of it. If the kids wake up, send them back to bed. If you share a bed, put the children to bed and then find someplace else to make love. Be creative. The bedroom is not the only place to make love. Look around your house and be imaginative. There are lots of options such as the shower, the couch, the floor, the dining room table even.
Put some fun back into your sex life too. Don’t stick to the same routine over and over. There are lots of ways you can put the fun back into your love making. If you have a night set for making love, start early in the day. Send your partner a text about the upcoming night. It can be as innocent or as sexy as you like. Simply a text saying that you are looking forward to the night is fine. If you are comfortable doing it, giving your partner some details as to what you want or would like to do to them can help build up the anticipation. If the two of you have to run errands or drop the kids off somewhere, take a few minutes to park in a corner of a parking lot and do some heavy petting to get the engines started. Or if you are cooking dinner, pick out some choice morsels to hand feed to your partner as you cook – better yet, cook together and take opportunities to touch and bump into each other. Small kitchens are great for that. All of this only helps to improve the love making when you do get to the action. When it does come time to make love, remember that it takes two. Do your best not only to care for your partner, but let your partner know how they can make you feel good too. If they aren’t fulfilling your needs, you are not going to want to fill theirs either. Communicate and connect.
So, while it does take time and some energy to keep romance alive after children, it’s not impossible and it is really important to make the effort. Remember also, that romance isn’t something that needs to be hidden from the children too. It is a wonderful example to set for you kids to see you laughing together, holding hands, kissing, cuddling. Showing love and affection teaches your children them by example that relationships are a healthy part of life. Children who see love and affection being shown in their home lives are more apt to grow up to be loving and affectionate adults.
Some final thoughts to keeping your romance alive are laugh often, kiss in the rain, and stop to remember why you fell in love with this person in the beginning. You will both be happier for it.
